I went on a walk this Anzac day with a friend and quite a random group of humans. In that group I had a good chat with one of the guys who organised the walk. After some stimulating conversation about technology, what I do for work, what he does for work, we eventually got to the topic of how I ended up in Sydney.
It’s still a little fresh to be telling new people about the break up. Not particularly because it’s hard for me, but rather the other way around – some people are just not ready for the intensity and weight of a conversation about the end of long term relationships, and that’s ok. I’m getting better at sensing if the other person is ready for it, but it still takes practice.
It was a gift from the universe that he was completely comfortable with this information about my situation, and actually ended up sharing the extensive history of his relationship with his wife, and with himself. In summary they had challenges of being ready for each other at the beginning of their relationship. They both had different needs and goals that required time and focus on themselves, which required the whole of their attention. He shared a lot of thoughts about how he grew as a person in that time, and it gave me hope that I will come out of this understanding myself just as well as he did in his reflection.
It seemed to me that the takeaway was about being patient, allowing yourself to have the time, the space – for personal growth and personal development. In the end it will be rewarding for both people, regardless of ending up together or not. I have no words to describe what it was like for me, or to describe the sheer intensity of the last month. The changes and shifts in my mindset and outlook have been so overwhelming that every so often I feel like I can’t keep up with myself.
I also have another friend, whose advice I also keep going back to. It is the same, just given to me in a different manner. It is all about time, and all about space. The difficult part of the advice, which I need to practice each and every day, is focus. It is so easy for the mind to wander and think of the worst. So I keep up my practice. Reframe. Focus.
Flew to Brisbane for the holidays to spend time with the boyfriend’s family, managed to see a good amount of wildlife considering I was only mobile within a 10km radius the whole time I was there.
Checked off from my Aussie wildlife list are as follows:
- An Australian bushturkey (as pictured above)
- A kangaroo (it ran across the road at 1am in Rochedale)
- A goana (which looked super bad ass like it gave zero f*cks walking between people’s picnic tables like it owned the place)
- An Australian water dragon (not as bad ass, but has a cool name)
- A buttload of spiders, big ones
- A select few topical birds, ALL ANNOYING, as they make caw-caw and coo-coo-ing noises strictly between 4am and 7am (note to self: don’t move to Brisbane)
Not bad for 6 days away, I must say. Although truth be told, my real goal was to see a wild koala sitting in a gum tree munching on some eucalyptus leaves. One day I’ll get to see one… One day.
The holidays were nice, although a little bit less festive than I’m used to back in Vancouver. It’s a different vibe to have pine trees, turkey dinners and mulled wine in comparison to a palm trees, beer and barbecue. Having said that, I am still really glad to have attended my first Australian barbecue – and made sure that the host announced that he was indeed, throwing the shrimp on the barbie when he did.
There were also two nights of unexpected mahjong with family and friends – with polarising outcomes – which means I still have a long ways to go in my gambling career. Just kidding. Not kidding. Anyway I’m ready for Chinese New Year now.
The last couple of months have been a whirlwind, and now I find myself living and working in Australia. I haven’t quite formed an opinion of how I feel about this, as my headspace just doesn’t have the capacity to do so. A lot of my time is spent checking off to do lists to set up an apartment, or trying to figure out the best way to run the research project I’m working on. And what time is left over is for sleep.
But hey, real beaches!