An Ant in a Tunnel

I’m three months in, halfway to the 6 month mark. That’s when most friends have told me I’m meant to feel settled in. Most of the days are a blur. One big grey blur with sporadic moments of self-realisation in the hour-long trek to work, from work, or at lunch.

All the time spent at work right now just feels like radio static. Lunch these days is defined as the hour where I generally go out of the office, alone, and read articles about other people’s ideas and what they’re doing, far away from the emptiness I feel with my existence here.

The only time when I feel like I’m myself again, and less like an indistinguishable ant in a bustling colony, is after coming home and winding down with the lovely company of the boyfriend.

Perhaps it’s just hardest to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’re in the middle of both ends?

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